What a name! Rise of pillock is a tedious clash of clans sort of game where you have to build up the island of git by enslaving dragons from nearby islands which you find with your own pet dragon which is sent out on errands.
In defiance of this forced labour, I decided to release the first few dragons.
Can you blame me?
I’m pretty sure that they were the last 3 dragon eggs in existence though because my dragon started to bring back nothing but fish and logs. The game does specify that my people are “Vikings” and that does specifically mean we are a race of pirates and raiders. It’s fine that we’re stealing resources but it’s clear to see that plonker island is covered in trees so let’s steal something we don’t have in total abundance yeah? Don’t want to get ransacked when the saxons come to town.
I decided to have a look around my hamlet and it seems like the goal is to make houses for the teenage twats of wazzock island. Can’t they do it themselves? What else do they have going on? Some kind of bizarre Viking disco? While I, as the town architect do all the work? Sod that, let me into that Viking disco! That sounds like a much better game. There are enough games about construction and manual bloody labour already.
“Rise of Berk” is definitely a side order of cheap takeaway chips. Nasty potato slivers deep fried in lizard fat.
Games Whinge 