“Slots OZ” is a slot machine simulator which uses fake money and requires players to match together pieces of Australian iconography, including: Ayr’s rock, kangaroos, koalas, sheep, the barrier reef, ostriches, a woman’s face and the Syndey Opera house.
That, was a wonderful paragraph to type.
YES.
Why the focus on Australia? Why not Madagascar or Austria or the Vatican city state? I can only guess that the primary audience for this game consists exclusively of patriotic Australian gamblers.
The gambling is free which is a little bemusing. The flashing colours and pictures are rather hypnotic though and the word “WILD” spins on some tiles for no reason which is wild in its own way. It is possible to spend real money to accrue some kind of abritrary gambling points to lose but I ignored this because it felt too much like real gambling. Interestingly, the level select takes the form of a beach with palm trees and a few Douglas Firs. Why not?
The game is simply mesmerising. What do I tap? The “Go” button next to the numbers “719”? The icon called “Stars”? I suddenly realised I could scroll to the righ on the map t and go to “Great China” but I didn’t want to ruin the Australian mystique that had won me over so far. I finally decided to tap on the ominous swirling vortex on the left side of the island but a lot of writing suddenly appeared, I recoiled and tapped at random spots on the screen until I thought the words had gone away. A new slots game had appeared, it had bubbles, mermaids and greek gods. It reminded me a bit of Disney’s “The Little Mermaid” and I began to daydream and wonder if Disneyworld had any slot machines. I looked it up and it turns out they do but only by for Star Wars and Marvel and they discontinued them in 2013. Apparently they weren’t in line with Disney’s family focused practices, which makes sense. I then lost interest in Slots OZ and continued to spend an hour reading about deaths at Disney because Disney just feels sinister.
Imagine dying at Disneyworld. In the Disney castle with a panicked Donald trying to call for an ambulance. People screaming all around while that Disney theme tune plays in slow-motion. Maybe gene-wilder is grinning at you. Maybe free android games are rotting my brain. Maybe “Slots OZ” is the main culprit.
“Slots OZ” doesn’t really offend me. It’s too bizarre. It’s not really a game worth my time though and it’s not really a game…. it’s a virtual slot machine. Well done “Slots OZ”, you’re the least terrible of the “Top Games” I’ve played yet despite not being a bloody game.
I look forward to the following titles.
Seriously, what?
Games Whinge 