This game was the first in the list that I would play by choice. It’s got bright colours, vandalism, fat cops and teenagers being hit by moving trains.
The aim of the game is the timeless quest to obtain as many gold coins as possible. You do this while sliding between 3 sets of train tracks while dodging obstacles and collecting power-ups. It’s not going to win awards for ingenuity… Or maybe it has? I don’t want to check, just in case it has and I wallow into a pit of endless despair.
I’m currently playing the game while enduring public transport, for authenticity. The smell of sweat and poverty definitely enhance the experience. We haven’t hit any teenagers yet, but not for lack of trying on the drivers behalf. The bus is full, I’ve looked around for fellow android gamers. There are none, but I can smell them. I get the feeling that the bus is not the place for twitchy gaming, the cornering ruins gestures for one thing and people complain when you crank the audio to hear coins being collected.
“Skullcrusher, maul this pig.”
To nitpick about the game’s name (as per tradition), the game isn’t set in subways. You don’t surf the train tracks or even the trains, you run, jetpack and roll but you never surf. This might not mean much to anyone else but it should. You could just call your game “Solar farts adventure” or “Pickled nipples” or “Sodbucket twats a shithouse” if the name doesn’t even relate to the game.
I really enjoyed it though actually. Vandalism IS fun. I once spray painted on a wall in Huddersfield, it wasn’t really vandalism because it was one of those ones that the local council say that you’re allowed to paint on. But it was almost as thrilling as the crime itself, much like the game. It doesn’t give you an adrenaline rush but it’s something to do to distract yourself from the monotony of the boring town you live in.
As I write this, there is a BEE in the bus. SHIT. Why did I distract myself? The normal rules for dealing with bees have failed. Sitting still is just making it angrier as the movement of the bus keeps punting it clumsily into the window. Should I announce the bee and try to get off the bus? I can hear the news now: “Society has started to collapse after an apprehensive 26 year old man warned a bus load of innocent people that a bee had entered the bus, initiating unstoppable waves of chaos and panic”. Okay, it’s managed to bumble out of the window. CHRIST.
I find it a little easier to write negatively about games so this one is a disappointment because it’s not terrible. You bastards, how dare you make a reasonably enjoyable game. Do you want to turn games reviewers into paupers who have to take the bus everywhere because they can’t afford a car? Oh…. I made myself sad.
Games Whinge 